Azure is closest I think. Enterprisey cloud hosting.

my goodness, I was reading through this entire thread and all I was thinking about is "How come no one is mentioning Azure".

I have tried Azure, AWS, and DO, and by far the most stable and usable one is Azure. I thought I was the only one who thought Azure was good...

Most people here (including me) are not windows people, so Azure is obviously not going to be the first place we look to.

They have linux VMs which is cool, but still not sure I would pick them.

MS has strong reputation of company with closed-source and vendor-locked stack, so many of us can't feel "first-class citizens" in the MS world. But they are working on their reputation, VS Code is a very good example, and I hope soon we will not afraid to trust them.